Marriage

The sacred ritual of Crowning is a Mystery which is bestowed by the priest, unlike in some Churches, where it is said that the couple bestow it upon each other. This is a major difference, because the consecrated hands of a priest are needed for the Mystery. That Mystery is a sharing in God’s blessing of marriage in both the Old and New Testaments.

Christian matrimony is mentioned in St Ignatius of Antioch’s Letter to Polycarp: “But it is right for both men and women who marry, to form their union with the approval of the bishop, that their marriage may be according to God, and not after their own lust.” (5) So marriage is divinely ordained to be an ordering of the lives of two people, and through them the family they raise. By marriage they come closer to God and confirm their thoughts, words, acts and omissions to His Will. St Ignatius teaches us that marriage is not just a regulated form of desire, but rather a way of life in which the virtues find a dignified and regulated place.

The Gospel of Matthew opens with a list of the ancestors of the Lord, which shows the importance of the married state and its product: children. The relationship of Joseph to Mary was important. The evangelist could not omit their marriage, for even in working the miracle of the virginal conception, God desired to include marriage. St Matthew tells us: “… an angel of the Lord appeared to (Joseph) in a dream, saying: “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife; for the Child who has been conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.” …And Joseph awoke from his sleep and did as the angel of the Lord commanded him, and took Mary as his wife …”

In the Sermon on the Mount, Our Lord says:

You have heard that it was said: “You shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart …  It was said: “Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. (Matthew 5:27-28 and 31-32).

Marriage, from an Eastern perspective, is a covenant and not just a contract. Recall the New Covenant of the Eucharist which the Lord sealed with His blood. Covenants were made between two kings, who called their gods to witness. The crown which is placed upon the heads of the bridegroom and his bride, was initially placed on the king’s head as a symbol of his city’s walls, to always remind him of his privilege, and also of his responsibility to care, guide and direct.

The covenant which the couple declare before the church, and the crowns which are placed upon their heads are to remind the man and woman that God is the indispensable third party in Christian marriage, and that they are now allowed to share in His work of creation as the responsible heads of a new family. Marriage is the perfect time to remind the faithful that privilege brings responsibility.